On letting you know just where I’ve been.

I’m sorry I haven’t been around much lately. I’d like to say that the events of the last few months have just left me speechless, but those who know me best will know right away that this is a lie. Debi is never without words. Truly.

To be honest, I’ve been going through a lot of turmoil inside lately about what I’m doing here. I don’t mean here on this earth, or even as a nurse. I mean right “here” where I am at this very moment – spending my day writing to you.

Sometimes it all just seems very scattered. I mean, what IS my point with all these words? Am I writing about nursing? About living with an exhausting chronic illness? About my whiney daily struggle to do both?

I’ve actually started a few posts in the last few weeks that I just couldn’t finish. I was going full force, sharing about things that seemed so important when I first sat down, but then I just literally ran out of steam and walked away from the computer. I simply lost the energy to finish.

I’ve never done this before, and I’m a little embarrassed to admit that this has actually happened more than once lately. These half-finished rambles just sit and wait for me to return. Hopefully I’ll get back to them one day.

See, here’s the thing: the true reason you haven’t seen much from me lately is because I’ve seriously just had a belly full. (That’s Mississippi talk for being absolutely fed up.)

This has been going on for months now, actually. And it’s not getting any better.

You know what I’ve been thinking about? About what life was like before we knew so much. About everything.

Back several decades ago before we had 24 hour news channels. Back when the newscasters came on the air a few times a day and simply told us what was happening in the world.

But never did they tell us how we should think or feel about it. Not so true anymore because now they have to fill all those extra hours up with something. So we get the opinions of “experts” thrown in, whether we want them or not.

I’ve also been thinking a lot about what life was like back before social media. Anybody else remember that? Back when we actually had to talk with the person next to us to get social interaction. Now all we have to do is stare at our phones and scroll. All day long.

Or what about back in social media’s early days where we just shared pictures and life updates with each other? Remember how good it felt to reconnect with all those people we’d forgotten about? To watch their kids grow up? Applaud at all their accomplishments?

I know this all seriously dates me, but can you remember???

Back before we were constantly barraged with strangers (and those we know) telling us what we should think or fear or become enraged by?

And back before we ourselves started blasting all our thoughts and beliefs on social media – attacking anyone who dares to have a differing opinion? No matter who they may be?

Can we really say our world is better off now because of all this??? Seriously. Think about it.

I do believe that a lot of terrible wrongs have been brought to light as a result of all this enlightenment, and this is a very good thing. Awareness is essential.

But we have to make sure that we’re not tearing down what is good and RIGHT in this world in the process. Or forgetting that it even exists.

So my point with all this is to say that this is why I haven’t been around much lately. My heart and mind have been so unbelievably over-saturated with all this from the last few months, that I just haven’t been able to bring myself to add my voice to the cacophony.

So I’ve been speaking less.

And listening more.

Not to the media, nor the rants, or any of the countless manias that have been thrust upon us lately.

I’ve been listening to God’s still, small voice.

The one that centers me.

Quiets me.

Comforts and inspires me.

“Tune out all that noise, Debi. Look here … to who I am … what I’ve done … and most importantly, to what I am DOING.”

So this is where I’ve been.

But here I am today – once again spending my day writing to you. I don’t feel like my purpose is as scattered now, but I have to admit that I had no idea what I would say when I first sat down this morning. I just knew that God was telling me it was time to speak again.

But to do it quietly.

With love.

Gently pointing to the beauty that this world still holds.

No matter what turmoil may surround us.

Love will win out, my friends, because our God still sits on His throne. And He absolutely, always will. There’s not a darned thing out there that can knock Him off.

So take comfort in that. Please. And be encouraged that He has a purpose for everything. Even this. Even all of this. And most importantly, remember that we have not a single thing to fear.

Thanks for growing with me. ❤

“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. All who rage against you will surely be ashamed and disgraced; those who oppose you will be as nothing and perish. Though you search for your enemies, you will not find them. Those who wage war against you will be as nothing at all. For I am the Lord your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, ‘Do not fear; I will help you.'” (Isaiah 41:10-13)

Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love.” (1 John 4:7-8)

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