Trust me when I say that these last few weeks have been rather earth-tilting. I’ve personally been struggling with extra pain and that ever-pressing fatigue. I’ve watched helplessly as my sweet loves have each been fighting their own individual struggles, and I’ve even grieved as one decided that he just didn’t want to struggle anymore. We don’t know why … but he just couldn’t keep doing it.
We got home from his funeral last night.
When I finally crawled into bed after unpacking from our trip, I laid there and just stared into the darkness. So much has been happening lately … I don’t even know how to begin processing any of it. When I stop to actually think about it all, my heart just aches. My chest actually hurts. My thoughts go absolutely blank.
And my prayers grow strangely silent.
Have you ever been overcome to the point that you found yourself unable to pray? I don’t mean unable to form the words, I mean unable to even form the thoughts. That’s where I was last night. Even though I know the Spirit meets us in this place – He hears our hearts and understands our inward groans – I found myself feeling very, very empty at that moment.
I thought back to a Spurgeon devotional I once read that spoke of praise. Perpetual praise – just like it is in heaven. Praising not just out of thanksgiving for what God does, but for who He is. This is much deeper than simply counting our blessings, and it’s not easy to do – especially when you’re feeling exhausted and devastated.
But I remembered Spurgeon compels us to try by asking, “Have we not something to sing about at this moment?”
He means right now. In the dark. Feeling like I do, reeling like I am, with all the pain, shock, and sadness that’s been surrounding me these last few weeks.
Well, of course I do. We all do. We all have something to sing about.
God is still God, no matter what is happening around us, my friends. He is unchanging and all powerful. He holds us in the palm of His hand, loves us with an everlasting, unshakable love, and counts the number of hairs on all of our devastated little heads. He knows our every thought, ordained all our days, and gives us every single breath we struggle to take.
Remembering Spurgeon’s words helped me to shift my focus from the problems plaguing my heart to the fixer of those problems. This eased the burdens weighing me down – I can’t do a single thing about them, anyways – and allowed me to rest comforted in His love, strength, and omnipotent power.
I write about this not to preach at anybody, but to share what I’m learning on my journey. I’ve been taught the importance of praise since I first became a Christian 27 years ago, but I’ve never truly experienced the personal benefits like I did last night.
Obviously, this did not remove the troubles, but I am definitely viewing them from a new perspective. The shift was subtle, but huge. And it helped. It really, really helped. And I pray that it helps you, too.
Thanks for growing with me. ❤
“Praise cheers the day and brightens the night; it lightens the toil and softens the sorrow …” – Charles Spurgeon
“Day and night they never stop saying: ‘Holy, holy, holy is the Lord God Almighty, who was, and is, and is to come’ … They lay their crowns before the throne and say: ‘You are worthy, our Lord and God, to receive glory and honor and power, for you created all things, and by your will they were created and have their being.‘” (Revelation 4:8, 11)